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Staying Together Not Always Best For Kids

Posted on in Family Law

Staying Together Not Always Best for KidsWhen spouses consider the pros and cons of getting a divorce, one of the strongest arguments against separation is the negative effect it will have on their children. A divorce disrupts children's lives and can cause immediate and long-term emotional damage. However, parents staying in a loveless or hostile marriage can also hurt children, as they will be exposed to their parents' unhealthy relationship. Divorce is not always the answer in a troubled marriage, but sometimes it is in a child's best interest.

Psychological Impact

Children pick up on the tense emotions parents exude in a toxic relationship, but feel powerless to say or do anything about it. They will internalize those feelings, which can lead to psychological damage, such as:

  • Fear of Intimacy – Children see the emotional trauma that can come from relationships, so they may guard themselves against becoming close in their own relationships.
  • Chronic Depression – The exposure to constant tension at home can wear on a child's emotions and lead to physical symptoms, such as fatigue.
  • Mood Disorders – Children can develop mood problems when living in a stressful home. If left untreated, those problems can become more severe mood disorders.

While children benefit in their psychological development from a two-parent home, it is also important that they grow up in an environment where they witness healthy behavior. Sometimes, that is not possible while their parents are together.

Fixing a Marriage

The ideal situation for children is living with two parents who are in a healthy relationship. Before deciding on divorce, parents should consider resources to improve their relationship, such as individual therapy, couples counseling and support groups.

Divorce Benefits

Sometimes, there is no fixing a marriage, and both sides are best off getting a divorce. While children may see their parents' separation as a mostly negative outcome, divorced parents can set an example for their children that will help them develop into stronger people.

  • Divorced parents will likely be happier when around their children and have more time to focus on developing relationships with them.
  • By choosing divorce, the parents show it is sometimes healthier to choose happiness than stay in a situation that makes you miserable.
  • When divorced parents work together in their allocation of parental responsibilities, children see how people at odds with each other can still cooperate for a greater good.

Finding an Attorney

When getting a divorce, you need a lawyer that can help you understand matters such as allocation of parental responsibilities. Contact an experienced McHenry County family law attorney at Botto Gilbert Lancaster, PC to schedule an appointment.

Source:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/when-kids-call-the-shots/201703/4-ways-bad-marriages-are-worse-kids-divorce

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