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Staying Together Not Always Best For Kids

Posted on in Family Law

Staying Together Not Always Best for KidsWhen spouses consider the pros and cons of getting a divorce, one of the strongest arguments against separation is the negative effect it will have on their children. A divorce disrupts children's lives and can cause immediate and long-term emotional damage. However, parents staying in a loveless or hostile marriage can also hurt children, as they will be exposed to their parents' unhealthy relationship. Divorce is not always the answer in a troubled marriage, but sometimes it is in a child's best interest.

Psychological Impact

Children pick up on the tense emotions parents exude in a toxic relationship, but feel powerless to say or do anything about it. They will internalize those feelings, which can lead to psychological damage, such as:

  • Fear of Intimacy – Children see the emotional trauma that can come from relationships, so they may guard themselves against becoming close in their own relationships.
  • Chronic Depression – The exposure to constant tension at home can wear on a child's emotions and lead to physical symptoms, such as fatigue.
  • Mood Disorders – Children can develop mood problems when living in a stressful home. If left untreated, those problems can become more severe mood disorders.

While children benefit in their psychological development from a two-parent home, it is also important that they grow up in an environment where they witness healthy behavior. Sometimes, that is not possible while their parents are together.

Fixing a Marriage

The ideal situation for children is living with two parents who are in a healthy relationship. Before deciding on divorce, parents should consider resources to improve their relationship, such as individual therapy, couples counseling and support groups.

Divorce Benefits

Sometimes, there is no fixing a marriage, and both sides are best off getting a divorce. While children may see their parents' separation as a mostly negative outcome, divorced parents can set an example for their children that will help them develop into stronger people.

  • Divorced parents will likely be happier when around their children and have more time to focus on developing relationships with them.
  • By choosing divorce, the parents show it is sometimes healthier to choose happiness than stay in a situation that makes you miserable.
  • When divorced parents work together in their allocation of parental responsibilities, children see how people at odds with each other can still cooperate for a greater good.

Finding an Attorney

When getting a divorce, you need a lawyer that can help you understand matters such as allocation of parental responsibilities. Contact an experienced McHenry County family law attorney at Botto Gilbert Lancaster, PC to schedule an appointment.



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