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Recognizing Four Emotional Mistakes During Divorce

Posted on in Divorce

Recognizing Four Emotional Mistakes During DivorceMaking a mistake during your divorce can put you at a disadvantage and possibly result in a negative outcome in your agreement. An experienced divorce attorney is with you to prevent technical errors in the legal process. However, you are equally responsible for avoiding mistakes in your attitude and thought process. Here are four common emotional mistakes that divorcees commit and ways to correct them:

  1. Going It Alone: Hiring a divorce attorney is always the first step when starting a divorce, but you will need other people to help you throughout the process. Close friends and family provide emotional support and relieve some of the pressure of your daily responsibilities, such as childcare and household tasks. There are also financial advisers and mental health counselors who are trained to help people going through a divorce.
  2. Focusing on Cause of Divorce: It is natural to continue questioning why your marriage is ending during the divorce process. However, this discussion should not be part of the divorce negotiations because it distracts from the practical issues you must settle. The fault in your marriage is a discussion you should have with your spouse before you decide to divorce. After you have decided to divorce, discussing the reasons for the divorce will only cause arguments.
  3. Seeking Revenge: Resentment towards your spouse can cause you to misplace your priorities during the divorce negotiations. You should always base your decisions on what is best for yourself and your children, not on hurting your spouse. You may feel satisfied by withholding a marital property or parental responsibilities from your spouse, but you risk hurting yourself and your children in the process. Your resentment will eventually subside, but your regret over your vindictive choices will stay with you.
  4. Obsessing Over Winning: You need to protect your personal interests during your divorce negotiations. However, a good divorce agreement will include some concessions on your part. The law entitles your spouse to an equitable division of marital property and a share of the allocation of parental responsibilities. You should start your negotiations with a clear set of goals and an understanding of what you are willing to cede to your spouse. Compromise can allow you both to get something you want. Stubbornness will delay negotiations and force a divorce court to decide the issue for you.

Constructive Process

The personal nature of a divorce can cause emotions to dictate your decisions when a calmer approach may get better results. A McHenry County divorce attorney at Botto Gilbert Lancaster, PC, can guide you through an amicable divorce that ends with a beneficial agreement. Schedule a free consultation by calling 815-338-3838.

Source:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/contemplating-divorce/201803/the-three-worst-mistakes-people-make-when-getting-divorce

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