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Choosing the Timing of Your Divorce When You Have Children

Posted on in Divorce

Crystal Lake IL divorce attorneyWe cannot control the timing of many events in our lives. However, when it comes to divorce, it is wise to do it at the right time for you and your family. It is also important to plan for your children’s needs when getting a divorce. While you might not be able to control when your spouse asks for a divorce, if you work together and put your children’s best interests first, it is possible to make it official at the right time, depending on the circumstances.

High-Conflict vs. Low Conflict Divorces in Illinois

If there are constant fights with yelling or screaming, or violence in the home, it is probably best to complete your divorce sooner rather than later. Violence and spousal abuse will have a greater negative effect on your child than a divorce, regardless of their age. On the other hand, if you are in a low-conflict marriage but have irreconcilable differences, you may choose to wait to complete your divorce. 

However, this does not necessarily mean you should stay in a rocky marriage for the sake of your children. This often does more harm than good. In the end, it is healthier for children to have divorced parents than to live in a high-conflict household. Choosing to end your marriage can also be beneficial for your children as they form their own personal relationships down the line. Children in high-conflict households with parents who did not get a divorce are actually more likely to get divorced as adults. 

In a low-conflict situation, consider where your children are in life. Young children generally handle divorce better than teenagers do, since it is easier for them to adapt to change. However, if children are starting preschool, it may be best to wait rather than overwhelm them with too many changes at once. Early adolescence is also one of the hardest times emotionally for children, so if they are already struggling, this may not be the best time for your divorce.  

Lawyers often see an influx of divorce cases around the time when children begin attending college. Once the nest is empty, it may seem like a good time to get a divorce. However, getting or planning a divorce too close to your child’s first day of freshman year may cause them emotional difficulties, even if they are no longer living in the house. In these cases, your child may start worrying more about the family structure than navigating college. Be sure to take your child’s feelings into account when planning your divorce.

Contact a Crystal Lake Family Law Attorney

Divorce is always more complicated when children are involved, and though it is important to make the right decision for yourself, you should also consider how it will affect your kids. At Botto Gilbert Lancaster, PC, we can help you plan the timing of your divorce, whether you are dealing with a high-conflict or low-conflict situation. Set up a free consultation with a McHenry County divorce attorney by calling our office at 815-338-3838 today. 





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