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Should You Announce Your Divorce on Facebook?Telling people about your decision to divorce can quickly become an emotionally exhausting task. First, you have to figure out an appropriate way to bring up the subject and how much information you want to share. Then, you brace yourself for the awkward responses and follow-up questions. Each conversation is rehashing a painful part of your life. Some people have decided to announce their divorce on social media so that dozens of conversations are consolidated into one. Facebook is the most popular medium for these announcements because it is ubiquitous and does not have character limitations. However, you should take your time to craft your message and consider whether this type of announcement is appropriate for you.

Timing

Facebook is not the first place you should go once you have decided to divorce. There are people who deserve to know about your divorce before you make the news public. You obviously need to have personal conversations with your children and other family members you are in regular contact with. You should also consider personally telling your closest friends. Think about how you would feel if you found out about your best friend’s divorce on Facebook. By telling them in advance, you are showing your friends that they are important to you and that you may need to rely on them for support during the divorce.

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Responding to Domestic Abuse Accusations During DivorceYour spouse can drop a figurative bomb on the divorce process by accusing you of domestic violence or child abuse. Besides the potential criminal ramifications, the accusation may temporarily prevent you from seeing your children. The restriction can become permanent if the investigation substantiates the accusation. Unfortunately, some spouses will make false accusations of domestic violence or abuse, knowing that it will put the accused at a disadvantage. You were previously concerned about getting a fair share of the allocation of parental responsibilities, but you are now fighting to have any access to your children. When your spouse accuses you of domestic abuse, your divorce attorney can create a strategy to contest the accusation:

  1. Comply with Court Orders: The court may immediately respond to your spouse’s domestic abuse accusation by granting a temporary order of protection, prohibiting contact with your spouse and children. You may feel defiant towards the order if the accusation is false, but it is important to cooperate and contest it legally. You may be arrested for violating the order, which your spouse will use against you during the divorce.
  2. Understand Your Past Actions: Before accusing your spouse of lying, you should consider whether your past behavior qualifies as domestic abuse. Verbal harassment, intimidation, and willful neglect are all forms of abuse, though they may not have the same legal consequences as physical abuse. If you have been emotionally abusive in the past, agreeing to seek counseling may help you maintain parental rights.
  3. Build a Defense: As the accuser, your spouse must show that the domestic abuse claim is legitimate. However, the burden of proof when deciding parental responsibilities in a civil divorce case is not as strict as when you are facing criminal charges. Thus, you will need to gather evidence showing that you are not abusive by nature or that your spouse has a motive to lie. Collect correspondences and bring in witnesses that attest to both your and your spouse's character.
  4. Keep Your Cool: False accusations of domestic abuse will make you angry because they are deeply personal to you and manipulative by your spouse. However, you should refrain from emotional outbursts or threats against your spouse, whether in court or in private. By retaliating, you are helping your spouse by demonstrating your abusive behavior. You must remain calm while still adamant that the accusations are false.

Your Parental Rights

When a divorce court believes you are a danger to your children, it can deny you parenting time or limit you to supervised visits. A McHenry County divorce attorney at Botto Gilbert Lancaster, PC, can help you disprove false domestic abuse allegations in divorce court. Schedule a free consultation by calling 815-338-3838.

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Missing Response Deadline May Lead to Default DivorceBeing served notice of your spouse’s intent to divorce may shock and upset you. However, ignoring or avoiding the notice is never in your best interest. Failing to attend scheduled divorce hearings will not prevent your spouse from divorcing you. Instead, the court may grant your spouse a default judgment on your divorce. In a default judgment, your spouse will be able to dictate the terms of the:

A court will not approve a default divorce agreement that is clearly unfair to you, but the agreement will still favor your spouse. Your now-former spouse will be able to seize certain properties and possibly require you to make monthly support payments. You must respond to your divorce notice to avoid a disastrous default judgment. If the court has already approved the default judgment, you may be able to vacate the judgment.

Chance to Respond

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Client Efforts Can Help Save Money on DivorceLegal fees can accumulate when you are going through your divorce. For each meeting you hold and legal action you request, your divorce attorney will add work hours to your bill. Attorneys are a necessary expense during a divorce because their legal knowledge is irreplaceable. Trying to handle your divorce on your own could be more expensive because of the hours you would need to devote to it and the risk of making mistakes. Still, some clients incur unnecessary legal expenses during their divorces. There are ways to save money on your divorce while still having high-quality legal representation.

Be Prepared

There are certain financial details that any divorce attorney will need to know before you start negotiations. When you do not provide the information yourself, your attorney will spend many billable hours researching that information. You can save your attorney time and yourself money by coming to your initial divorce meeting with:

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Five Reasons Divorce Increases After HolidaysSurveys and studies have concluded that divorce requests tend to increase following the holiday season. Some call the first Monday after winter break “Divorce Day” because of the sudden influx of divorce filings. A 2016 University of Washington study stated that a consistently above-average number of divorce filings in March can be traced back to the holidays because spouses needed a couple of months to prepare. Why do divorces increase immediately after the holidays? The reason will vary by couple, but researchers have come up with several explanations:

  1. Holiday Delay: Spouses may have known that they were headed for divorce but put off acting on it until after the holidays. Announcing a divorce leading up to the holidays is seen as bad timing, particularly when there are children. The couple may decide to tough it out in order to give the family one last holiday together.
  2. Holding Out Hope: Couples may use the holidays as a last chance to try to salvage their marriages. The holidays are generally a joyous time that brings families closer together. The couple may hope that the holidays will rekindle their passion for each other. When that does not occur, their disappointment may confirm that divorce is their only option.
  3. Exposing Weaknesses: While the holidays are a happy time, they are also filled with stress. Couples spend more time than normal working together to prepare for celebrations or shop for gifts. Flaws that already exist in their relationship may become more apparent because of their increased interaction. After the holidays are over, they may conclude that they are no longer happy being married to each other.
  4. New Year’s Resolution: Couples are unlikely to resolve to get divorced for the new year. However, the start of the new year is when people are most likely to reflect on where they are at in their lives and where they would like to be. In the process, they may realize that they are not satisfied with their marriages and that their relationships are keeping them from pursuing their goals.
  5. Financial Incentives: When couples create prenuptial or postnuptial agreements, they may include triggers that increase one spouse’s financial obligation to the other after a certain number of years have passed. The new year reminds the spouse about the looming deadline and motivates him or her to divorce before the increase starts.

Post-Holiday Blues

Couples have legitimate reasons to divorce after the holidays, but they may be reacting to temporary emotions. A McHenry County divorce attorney at Botto Gilbert Lancaster, PC, can help you decide whether divorce is the right choice. Schedule a free consultation by calling 815-338-3838.

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