When going through a divorce, it is common for the process to consume your thoughts, even when you are supposed to be taking a break. Some divorce anxiety is understandable and shows that you appreciate the importance of the decisions you are making. However, you could be building towards a nervous breakdown if you cannot occasionally distract yourself from that stress. Simply relaxing may not be enough to help you temporarily forget about your divorce. You need to find activities that are both physically and mentally engaging.

Exercise

A fitness routine helps many people treat their daily anxieties. It is tempting to forgo regular exercise because your divorce, work life, and personal life leave you exhausted. However, exercise can benefit you in ways that normal relaxation cannot, such as:

• Expelling your built-up stress;
• Making you feel healthier;
• Releasing endorphins that can improve your mood; and
• Improving your sleeping.

Exercise comes in many forms besides running on a treadmill or lifting weights. You can join classes for aerobics, yoga, dance, or martial arts. Outdoor activities, such as hiking, cycling or rock climbing, can be a source of fun and exercise. Joining classes or groups will also add a social component to your experience that can help distract you.

Divorce researchers have long sought ways to predict when marriage will end in divorce. There are too many variables to create a formula that will calculate your chances of divorce, but researchers explore many factors that correlate with increased divorce risk. One factor is whether the number of years you have been married will affect your risk of divorce. You may logically conclude that your chances of divorce will steadily decrease the longer you are married. Instead, divorce statistics show three separate periods during the length of a marriage when the risk of divorce is typically the highest.

First Two Years

The start of a marriage is understandably a time when a marriage may be vulnerable. The couple is learning what it is like to be married to each other, which is different from being in a long-term relationship:

• Feelings of romance are joined or replaced by the serious responsibilities of being in a marriage;
• Financial stress may test the couple’s relationship for the first time; and
• People who are no longer courting each other may relax and show unseen sides of their personalities.

The first two years are when a couple is most likely to realize that their marriage was a mistake and cut ties before they become any more attached to each other.

You will often find a strong support system behind people who successfully go through a divorce. Divorcees will rely on the kindness of friends, family, professionals and even some casual acquaintances who have experience with divorce. It is important to find your support system when going through a divorce, but you also need to know what to ask of each member. A family member should not be making legal decisions related to your divorce. Asking your divorce attorney to console you when you are depressed is an ineffective use of the time you are paying him or her for. There are more appropriate ways for your support system to help you.

Friends and Family

Adult members of your family and your close friends are the people you can rely on for help with your personal life during your divorce. They are the people you turn to when you need:

• A sympathetic shoulder to cry on;
• Help with completing daily tasks;
• Someone to watch your children on short notice; or
• Someone who can help you forget your stress for a moment.

The friends in your support system should be people who have a limited personal connection with your spouse or a much stronger relationship with you. A mutual friend of you and your spouse may feel uncomfortable picking sides during your divorce.

Amid everything else that you are worried about, it is important to maintain your health during your divorce. A combination of stress and poor choices can hurt your physical and mental wellness, which in turn distracts you when making important divorce decisions. There are several ways that you can stay healthy during your divorce while also relieving some of your stress:

1. Exercise: Getting regular exercise helps you feel healthier and gives you an outlet for your anxiety and angst. You can feel more confident about yourself and have an easier time getting to sleep. Your schedule may make it difficult to find time for a normal workout routine, but you can find other forms of physical activity that take less time.
2. Sleep: Skipping on your sleep hours will eventually do more to harm you than help you. You may choose not to sleep because you believe you do not have time for it or have difficulty with insomnia because of your divorce stress. Sleep is an important time for you to recharge yourself and reorganize your thoughts. You may think of a solution to a problem you were worried about after you give yourself time to sleep on it.
3. Diet: With the time requirements of a divorce, it is easy to subsist on a regular diet of fast food. When you do have more free time, your stress may draw you towards comfort foods that are less healthy. Not every meal needs to be nutritious, but you should try to eat healthy meals more often than not. If you do not have time during the week to fix a healthy meal, use free time during the weekend to prepare meals for the week.
4. Relaxation: You need time during your waking hours when you can relax and not worry about your stresses. Each person has their own favorite relaxing activities, such as getting a massage, doing a hobby, or watching a show. Depriving yourself of enjoyment will mentally wear you down, which may cause physical maladies.
5. Therapy: Seeing a therapist or attending a support group can help you deal with your divorce anxieties and pressures. Talking about your problems can feel liberating and help you gain a new perspective. Listeners can advise you on how to manage your stress.

Contact a McHenry County Divorce Attorney

Your peace of mind is a primary concern during your divorce. A Crystal Lake, Illinois, divorce lawyer at Botto Gilbert Lancaster, PC, has solutions for issues that you may be worried about. Schedule a free consultation by calling 815-338-3838.

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A divorce changes not only your life but plans you made in the event of your death. You likely named your former spouse as the primary beneficiary or caretaker in your estate planning documents. Once your divorce is final, Illinois law should assume that you no longer intend for your former spouse to receive most of your assets in a will or trust or be responsible for making decisions for you if you are incapacitated. However, you need to update these documents to make your intentions clear to your family:

1. Wills: In a will, you name the beneficiaries who will receive your assets upon your death. After your divorce, the will treats any inclusion of your former spouse as though he or she has already died. However, your divorce can make your will essentially useless if your former spouse is the only beneficiary named. You should update your will to name new beneficiaries, such as your children, other relatives, or a charitable organization.
2. Trusts: A trust differs from a will because you place assets in a trust while you are alive. The trustee will distribute those assets to your designated beneficiaries. One of the main benefits of a trust is that it allows your beneficiaries to receive those properties without having to go through probate. Assuming that you have a revocable trust, you can change who will receive the assets that would have gone to your former spouse or remove the assets from the trust.
3. Power of Attorney: If you become incapacitated or unable to make your own decisions, a power of attorney allows someone else to make decisions on your behalf. A power of attorney for financial lets that person make monetary decisions, while a power of attorney for health care lets that person make decisions regarding your medical treatment. Though your former spouse will no longer have these powers, you need to update these documents to state who you want making these decisions for you.
4. Child Guardianship: The normal presumption is that one parent will assume complete parental responsibilities for the children if the other parent dies. However, your former spouse may have limited or no parental rights if he or she is a danger to your children. In such a case, you need to name another adult who would be the legal guardian of your children upon your death.

Contact a McHenry County Divorce Attorney

Updating your estate planning documents can be a complicated process. A Crystal Lake, Illinois, divorce attorney at Botto Gilbert Lancaster, PC, can help you examine your documents and decide which changes you want to make. Schedule a free consultation by calling 815-338-3838.

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